"Another girl?' he asked.
"Done that, too," I said.
"How about a goat?"
"Fuck no!" I yelled.
James giggled.
"I know," he said. "Just kidding."
We were stumped. I got up and opened the bottom dresser of my bureau. I call it my "sex drawer" because it's where I keep all my lingerie, dildos and dirty movies. I was hoping that something would spark an idea.
It didn't take long. While sifting through my stuff, I came across a lacy, black bra. The elastic was almost shot. There was a tiny cum stain on the left cup. The bra was practically ruined. And I know for a fact that I didn't use the bra enough to destroy it.
But I knew who did: my brother, Sam. He was a sex weirdo worse than me. Although I'd never proved it, I had long suspected that he was "borrowing" my lingerie when I was away at school.
"I got it," I said.
"Cool," James said. "What is it?"
"We're going to fuck our brains out and punish someone who richly deserves it at the same time," I said.
"Who?" James asked.
I cracked open my bedroom door and leaned my head into the hallway.
"Sam!" I yelled.
His voice came from his bedroom: "What?"
"Get your ass in here!" I yelled.
"I'm busy!" Sam said.
Sam was never busy, except when he was jacking off to Internet porn. He didn't have a job or a girlfriend. He was enrolled at the local community college, but he never went to class. All he did was mooch off our parents.
"Bullshit!" I yelled. "I want to ask you about this bra I found!"
I winked at James. He had a big-ass smile spread across his face. A pregnant pause passed before Sam responded.
"Hold on!" he said. "I'll be right there!"
I went back to my sex drawer and found a lacy, black camisole that I slipped over my head. James pulled on his boxers, jeans and Jimi Hendrix T-shirt.
"What's going on?" he asked. "You've got a devilish smile on your face."
I was searching the drawer for a pair of panties that matched the camisole.
"You ever see that show on MTV, Pimp My Ride?" I asked.
Advertisment