Alanya's Alternative Experiences

When i decided to write my blog i thought i would recall the early times of my crossdressing and how i started and how i felt emotionally. I suppose my first feelings of wanting to experience and develop the feminine side of my personality was when i became aware of the beauty of the a womens body and the softness of the female persona, from that moment just thinking about changing my male public image to my feminine image gives me a wonderful comforting and exciting feeling which is unsurpassed by anything i had ever imagined.

That is just thinking that i might make the change, actually making that change is like entering a wonderful world of sensuality and self enlightenment with deep feelings of satisfaction and contentment. Allied to these moments of changing one is aware of the sexual arousement the process gives and to this day after many years all these feelings remain just as strong and any feelings of guilt i may have experienced at first have long gone to be replaced by feelings of complete freedom.

The feelings i enjoy of knowing that i have such feminine emotions and wanting to express them in a practical way manifest themselves by the desire to dress as a female, the fact that i will never achieve the beauty of the genetic female is never a problem after all i am a male person with the attributes of that sex i do not want to change that. I have become a Transvestite and am happy to be just that because circumstances allow no further development of my female personality. Dressing in the clothes of women and enjoying the softness of silk and satin,pretty fabrics and attractive clothes i now understand the feminine desire to shop for things that feel right and suit particular occasions, the need to not only look smart and stand out from a crowd but also very importantly to feel attractive to the male.

When i am dressed in pretty undies together with an attractive top and skirt and am out and about the feeling of confidence all these things give is so strong and if my make up is done well then perhaps that feeling is as close as it gets to being a female as i can achieve. I will settle for that and enjoy the the ability it gives me to make friends with guys who are pleased to be in my company and enjoy the favors that only a Transvestite can bestow.